I’m Hoping my marriage doesn’t last.

Artwork by @Nicole.steffes

The other night, Heather and I were on the couch toasting to making it through the Thanksgiving Holiday with our kids. So much running around, all good things! Warm, beautiful memories with our kids (But) a lot nonetheless.

Most nights we end up on the couch with cabernet, actually, whether it was a tough day or not. Ending the day with a drink and conversation is one of our favorite rituals as friends, as lovers. Along with a glass of wine we enjoy drawing questions from the this conversation deck that I bought.

*Just a heads up, I do not believe every card in this deck is beneficial, there are some that we flat-out throw away, but most of them are actually fun to talk about.

I recommend our conversation deck included in the back of our book Committed Love

Anyway, one of the questions last night was “do you think we have what it takes to last?”

Sometimes, I have to think for a second before answering but I knew this one right away.

“No,” I said to Heather. “I don’t want to last.”

I promise I was not trying to be cryptic or ambiguous or even poetic so I quickly followed up my answer with my reasoning - “I want to do more than last.”

My mind wanders to older couples I know that don’t seem to like each other but, divorce is off the table, so lasting is what (I have seen) has become of their connection. I don’t want to last, goodness, I want to thrive!

I’m aiming past lasting. So, no - I do not think we have what it takes. I believe we have more.

How about you?

Joe and Heather, Authors of Committed Love - help young couples set strong foundations for lasting connection through evidence-based practice, wisdom and experience.